Thursday

Today was much, much better. Tonight was quite a bit worse. Progress? Or regress? Maybe both.

We finally snuck her shoes off in the middle of the night last night, after too many kicks to the head (and every other part). We expected her to look for them in the morning, but she didn't for several hours. Later on she got brave enough to take off her shoes and try on the ones we brought for her (never mind that they are all way too big). She quickly decided that hers are still best, of course.

Breakfast was the exact same, minus one sausage and plus one yogurt. For those wondering why we don't just cut her off from eating so much, just understand that this is very normal post-institutional behavior. We knew from our volunteer friend's stories that food would likely be an issue for her, so we were prepared for this. It should improve over the long run, as she learns to trust that food isn't going to be withheld in her new life. Plus, right now she is extremely thin, so these extra calories aren't going to hurt.

Water was a big hit today! Bath time was 110% easier than expected - she loved it! We also tried out the swimming pool. She whimpered when we first got close to it, but by the end she was splashing a ton and asking to be tossed in the air. I think we have ourselves a water baby.

Sleep was our biggest issue today. She could use a daily nap, but has no interest in slowing down enough to take one. She falls asleep in the Ergo as we walk, but only for a few minutes at a time. Tonight she was certifiably slap happy crazy and we knew she was beyond exhausted. Lights out time turned in to the biggest tantrum yet, and she and I both ended up sobbing. Since then she has woken up several times with fits of tears. I think tomorrow night melatonin will be calling her name...and maybe mine too.

I'm glad that I'd prepared enough for this journey to know that I cannot trust any emotions right now. There are just so many, and things are so fragile. I'm embarrassed to admit that I thought I'd be immune to many of them, which I can now see was a bit ridiculous. Thankfully, I know that our experience is right smack in the range of "normal". Beautiful, crazy, everything-is-abnormal, "normal".

Tomorrow we'll travel the 2.5 hours back to her orphanage with our guide for an official visit. I am positive that it is a trip we are supposed to make, however it doesn't come without a lot of nerves. I pray that it will be a time of closure, answers, and healthy goodbyes.

On Monday the orphanage rep told us that their staff is excited for us to come visit. The reason? They think that Randy looks like Beckham in the photo they've seen, and they can't wait to meet him. Didn't see that one coming, haha.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for your encouragement, kind words, and prayers. We take the time to read every single word and it lifts us up for another day. The support is a most incredible gift right now.

Finally, I need to warn you all of something. This girl's giggle is going to knock your socks off.